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Leaving religion’s patriarchal grasp over myself and my sexuality was a difficult journey that radically altered my understanding of these prescriptive ways of being in the world. Once you start to question one ideological structure, it’s impossible to not question the system as a whole and ask if these restrictive ways of being are actually serving ourselves and our communities. During my early adulthood, I experienced a sexual assault that sent me on a radical journey of reconnecting with myself. Healing through religious trauma around sexuality and experiencing sexual violence created a very personal fervor to research how we can reconnect with the pleasure we all deserve. I began volunteering as a sexual assault counselor in my local community, accompanying survivors of sexual violence in the emergency room and providing crisis counseling. 

 

Dear Listener,

Originally, I grew up rather conservative as a Christian. I believed homosexuals were sinners and was quite comically surprised to discover I was one myself much later in my journey. The repressed parts of ourselves are often the things we feel so much anger and emotionality towards.

A dear human in my community once called the podcast my love letter to the world, and that saying has always stuck with me. This is for all you beautiful and wild souls out there. 

 

Sending you all my love,

Nicole

I then went on to acquire a Master's Degree and am currently completing my Doctoral Training in Clinical Psychology. Much of the psychological discourse focuses on the initial impacts of healing from sexual violence, but the whole journey of healing does not end there. The healing journey continues onward as one learns to reconnect with pleasure and is an ever-evolving process I continue to explore each day. For me, pleasure has meant discovering the authenticity of my queer identity, feeling the expansiveness of polyamorous love, expanding my consciousness with psychedelics, embracing the full range of emotions from the deepest pains to the most profound joys, redeveloping an understanding of spirituality that is healing, exploring intimacy through kinky play, and finding the community spaces where all of my wondrous self is celebrated, challenged, and loved. 

These are aspects of my experience I have tried to share with my conservative Mormon family but always felt such a vast disconnect between our perspective of this world. I dreamed of creating a space to share vulnerable conversations about these topics and other expansive ways of existence, closing the gap in understanding and connection. Conversations have the power to change society. From this, I created the podcast, Modern Anarchy: exploring sex, relationships, and liberation. It is with great joy that I open up vulnerably about my own healing journey and the path that it has sent me on with researching pleasure. It is my intention to collectively support the creation of more pleasure in our sex lives and relationships. 

MEET THE HOST

Hello There! I am honored that you are here learning about Modern Anarchy and my journey to getting here. It’s been one wild ride, and I’m only just getting started. 

 

MY

CO-HOST

At times, you may hear my lovely co-host, Miss Fat Cat, join our conversations. She likes to add her input with a little meow here and there. When not sharing her opinion, you can find her cozily snuggled up on my lap as we record.

HOW IT ALL STARTED

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